Call An Old Friend
Creating Connection in Winter's Heart
When was the last time you reached out to someone just because you were thinking of them? Not because you needed something, not because it was their birthday, but just because they crossed your mind and you decided to act on it?
Ritual breakdown: The Heart of the Matter
Winter is a natural time for reaching inward, but that doesn't mean we have to be isolated. Calling an old friend creates a bridge between solitude and connection, warming both hearts in the process. This ritual is especially powerful during the coldest months when we might feel most separate from our community.
The key here isn't the length of the call or the depth of the conversation. It's the simple act of reaching out and saying "Hey, I was thinking about you." Sometimes that's all it takes to rekindle a connection that's grown quiet.
How to fit in more of this: Making It Work
Listen, I know what you're thinking. "I'm terrible at keeping in touch." Join the club! That's why we build systems to support our intentions:
Keep a "friend check-in" list in your daily planner (I use my bullet journal)
Set calendar reminders for connection calls (but make them flexible)
Create "walking and talking" times during your day
Schedule catch-ups during mundane tasks like folding laundry
Send voice messages when calls aren't possible
Turn routine activities into connection opportunities
The goal isn't to create more obligations. It's to make connection easier and more natural within the rhythms of your life.
Personal Notes: The Real Talk
As someone who struggles with object permanence in relationships, having structured ways to maintain connection is essential. This doesn't mean the connections are less meaningful—it means we're creating systems to support what matters to us.
I used to beat myself up about being "bad at friendship." Now I understand that my brain just works differently, and that's okay. Instead of trying to force myself to remember to reach out, I've built systems that help me maintain connections in ways that work for me.
Final Thoughts: The Magic
Connection doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes a simple "I was thinking about you" can create ripples of warmth that last far longer than the call itself. In winter especially, these moments of connection can be like little fires keeping us warm.
Don't worry about it being awkward or about how long it's been. The people who matter will just be glad to hear from you.
Your Turn!!!
Building sustainable connection systems is a journey, and one I'm still figuring out myself. If you've got your own methods for maintaining relationships in ways that work for your brain, I'd love to hear them—drop a comment or send me a message. Sometimes the most revolutionary act is just reaching out to say hello.
Ritual #152 from the Joy Rituals Database, reimagined for midwinter connection.